Fare Thee Well My Favorite-Father-In-Law

My heart is suffused with sorrow. My Favorite Father-In-Law died on the evening of Friday, January 18, 2019.

He died from complications of a heart attack. His heart was strong and he did not suffer from heart disease. The doctors believe a blood clot had formed and stopped his heart.

On Monday, January 14th, My Favorite Mother-In-Law found him on the living room floor around 10 p.m., unresponsive and not breathing. She called Yam (she tried to call us but our phone did not ring...one of the reasons we finally got new phones). Yam told her to call 911, called us and then ran across the street to assist and be there when the emergency vehicles arrived. We arrived shortly after my Favorite Father-In-Law was loaded into the ambulance and was on his way to the hospital.

Yam told us that the emergency technicians were able to restart her grandpa's heart but he did not regain consciousness. He never regained consciousness before he died. The neurologist said he suffered brain damage due to being without oxygen too long after his heart attack.

Yam stayed with her grandma as The Colonel and I went to the hospital to be with his dad. We stayed in the trauma room until a bed could be found at the hospital's heart unit. We finally left the hospital at 4 a.m.

The Colonel and I made daily visits to the hospital to be with his dad and then we would go to his mother's house to be with her and tell her what was happening with her beloved husband. It was a long four days. The Colonel and I would sit bedside and hold My Favorite Father-In-Law's hands. Yam was able to come to the hospital for a visit too. My-Favorite-Mother-In-Law did not wish to see her husband this way and chose not to go to the hospital.

I am very blessed to have had My-Favorite-Father-In-Law in my life for about 35 years. He was a very loving, thoughtful, funny, fun-loving, creative, resourceful, smart, adventurous, friendly, positive, strong, dependable, sweet man. I have known only one other man like him...The Colonel.

My-Favorite-Father-In-Law was the epitome of  father, grandfather and husband (he and my Favorite-Mother-In-Law were married for 60 years...it would have been 61 in March). He whole-heartedly loved his wife, children and grandchildren. He loved me as one of his own. A few months before his death, he began calling me his sunshine.

He was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma (cancer of the plasma cells) in 2016 and underwent chemo infusions on a weekly basis until his death. Sometimes his infusions would last for several hours and he would not feel well the next day or two. He never complained about any of it. He still walked and worked out in his yard, once he felt more like his old self after the infusions.

The last family get together was at Christmas last year. He was feeling a bit tired. We did not know (nor did he) that he had pneumonia at the time. He joined in on a few Wii games despite feeling tired and a bit winded. This is a photo of him at taken at Christmas. 

I said he was creative and liked to work in his yard. He combined the two when he made his pieces of art from yard waste materials. His preferred material was anything from a palm tree. He made totems out of palm stumps. 

He also made many fish and sea creatures from the pods of palm trees.

One of his garage walls became his "aquarium".

He loved dressing up for Halloween and walking around town to pass out candy to the kids. He was dressed as a cannibal in the 2014 photo below.

I think the only thing My-Favorite-Father-In-Law did not do that he wanted to do was skydive. Had he lived longer and felt better, I am sure he would have done it.

We buried his cremains on Thursday, February 21st around 10 a.m. Yam was able to get a bereavement day from work as did Spud. He drove 6 hrs. from Jacksonville, leaving there at 2 a.m. to arrive at our house in time to join us for the one hour trip to the cemetery.

When I say we buried him...I mean it literally. The Colonel wanted to help bury his father. Before the burial, I stood to say a few words about My-Favorite-Father-In-Law.

I sat back down and we had a few minutes of quiet contemplation.

When we were ready, we let the cemetery workers know and Spud pulled out of his pocket the pouch of Mail Pouch chewing tobacco (we found it in My-Favorite-Father-In-Law's car) and a small packet of coffee. We wanted to place these in the grave. They were two favorites of My-Favorite-Father-In-Law.

The cemetery worker placed the items in the grave, atop the box of cremains and then sealed the cement vault.

The Colonel began shoveling dirt in the grave. I placed three shovelfuls myself and then Yam and Spud followed after me. The Colonel took over the shoveling again until the grave was filled.

My-Favorite-Mother-In-Law chose not to help bury her husband. I asked if she would like to toss a handful of soil into the grave but she demurred.

Since My-Favorite-Father-In-Law was a veteran of the U.S. Navy, he will receive his name plaque for free. We will have to wait for that to arrive. For the interim, The Colonel made the vase and stand for the flowers that adorn his grave.

It is so painful to lose someone, especially when that person was so loved and loved you so.

I know that I was blessed the day I met My-Favorite-Father-In-Law and especially blessed the day I became his Favorite-Daughter-In-Law by marrying The Colonel. I will always be grateful and pleased that our life journeys intertwined for a while.

When we remember our loved ones in our minds, hearts and voice, they are with us again.