Dessert Disaster

The Colonel and I recently made sea grape jelly again (Yam helped us with this batch). In our freezer we had four gallon bags, stuffed to nearly bursting, with last season's bumper harvest of huge, plump sea grapes. The bags of sea grapes were taking up much of the freezer space and we were expecting some venison from our friends so we had to make room in the freezer. We had been meaning to make the jelly sooner but kept putting it off. If it weren't for the venison's impending arrival the jelly would probably still be unmade.

The jelly recipe we use calls for five cups of juice and all of those grapes gave up just over seven cups. My friend who taught me how to make this jelly said to never freeze the juice as it will have ice crystals in it, diluting it, and will not make a good jelly. What to do with the extra juice?

I decided to try making sea grape sherbet in my ice cream maker. I looked through the recipe book that came with the ice cream maker. I figured that the orange sherbet recipe would be a good fit and just substitute the orange juice with sea grape juice.

I combined 3 cups of whole milk with 1-1/4 cups of sea grape juice (the remaining juice was discarded) and 2 tablespoons of sugar in a blender until smooth.

I then poured the blended liquid into the ice cream maker and let it do its thing for 30 minutes.

Once the maker was finished with its churning I had to put the semi-frozen sea grape sherbet in a container and put it in the freezer to ripen for two hours.

When the two hours were up I scooped some of the sherbet into a dessert dish. It wasn't creamy, it had more of an ice-milk consistency.

I tasted it...The Colonel tasted it...Yam tasted it...

Three thumbs down! The sea grape sherbet was a disaster! It was not sweet enough. To be honest, I do not think adding more sugar, in any amount, to this recipe could ever make the sherbet better.

We better just stick to sea grape jelly. We know that tastes good. It has been called "Jewels on Toast" by one of my favorite foodies.

Wordless Wednesday

Creature Creation

It is nearing Halloween and The Colonel and I are participating in a few programs for the county's history center. I am portraying a spirit who tells of hauntings in the area. The Colonel is a Cryptozoologist (a pseudo-scientist who searches for creatures that have not been proven to exist due to lack of evidence).

The Colonel tells the program attendees about some of the creatures on his list such as the Skunk Ape (Florida's Big Foot). But his main focus is on the Moss Man.

Florida's first Moss Man sighting was in 1978 in a Boca Raton park called Red Reef Park. A couple were taking a romantic stroll on the beach near the park. They spied a skinny, ragged creature with bright colored eyes. It was covered in a grassy, leaf-like substance.

The Moss Man was seen for a couple of years, especially when slow rolling fog came in from the ocean. In 1980, the creature began appearing again. There were at least eleven sightings. The 1990s saw a few more glimpses of the Moss Man.

Tales speak of a Moss Man curse...in the 1500s Spanish Conquistadors invaded the Florida region. One of the men kidnapped a Native American princess. He was a terrible man. He raped her, decapitated her and then tied her head to a tree.

The legend continues to claim that the princess' hair took root in the tree and her spirit infected all plant life in the area. A medicine man created the Moss Man from the vegetation to wreak havoc upon the Spanish and their descendants to drive them away.

It is said that the Moss Man is around six to seven feet tall and can weigh anywhere from 200 to 450 pounds. That's a lot of Spanish Moss!

Well, if The Colonel was a Cryptozoologist focusing mainly on the Moss Man, we had to create one to unveil for the program attendees (the first program was for a group of kids...not a one was afraid of our Moss Man).

The Colonel ordered the PVC pipe kit that would become the Moss Man's skeletal system. He pieced it together and attached it to a base of wood. He then ordered some monster hands (they came all the way from China). We hit Hobby Lobby and found the perfect foam head. Once The Colonel painted the head gray I painted the facial detail.

We visited a local cemetery to gather Spanish Moss. There was plenty on the ground in the older section of the cemetery.

Now came the time to attach the moss to the Moss Man. We had a bit of chicken wire left over from our ghost manufacturing and used it to fashion a chest, back and shoulders.

Now came the time to artfully attach the Spanish Moss to our man. The Colonel let me have the lead in this. He said I have a better artist's eye.

As we were building our Moss Man we were conscious of the fact that we would have to transport him to two local libraries for our historical programming. We ended up deciding that wrapping him up in an old sheet and then tying the sheet down with rope would be the best way to go. We would then use our hand truck to wheel him to the bed of the truck and secure him in the bed with more rope. It did work as planned but we sure got some strange looks from people as we wheeled the suspiciously humanoid-form, draped in a sheet into the library...especially since it was packed with early voters.

The Colonel wants to put the Moss Man on our front porch for Halloween after the programs are over. I think the Moss Man will go nicely with our ghost and pole-dancing skeleton already in the yard.

Wordless Wednesday

Halloween Haints

Halloween, our favorite holiday, is nearly here. The Colonel saw a new Halloween decorating idea on line and wanted see if we could do it for ourselves. There were no instructions accompanying the photograph of the decoration but we both hold college degrees and felt very confident in our ability to execute the project.

We were going to make ghosts to set out in the yard. We wanted to make one for our yard and one for My-Favorite-Father-In-Law's yard. He also likes decorating for Halloween.

The material used in the ghost fabrication is chicken wire. The Colonel and I stretched out the roll of chicken wire and using wire cutters, cut the roll into four 6-ft pieces.

We then took two of the pieces and "stitched" them together with tiny zip ties to create a tall tube.

We placed the chicken wire tube over a bucket so that it would stand as we began forming our ghost. We used a piece of rope to mark the shoulders. The Colonel then cut the excess wire away (we would use that to form the head) and we closed the top end of the tube.

Sculpting with chicken wire is not easy. I pinched and pulled on the wire and eventually a ghostly human form took shape.

The Colonel worked on the head as I worked on the body.

When we were satisfied with the form of the ghost we took her out into the yard to be painted.

We were pleased with our first attempt. We placed her in various spots in the yard to see what she would look like.

The Colonel then painted the yard ghost with glow-in-the-dark spray paint. We later checked her out in the dark garage. She glowed perfectly.

It was time to sculpt another ghost with the remaining chicken wire. The second ghost took less time to make (we knew by then what we were doing). She was taller than the first ghost and she looked older. I got the feeling that they were mother and daughter ghosts.

The Colonel and I liked the older, taller ghost and decided to give her daughter to My-Favorite-Father-In-Law. He was thrilled with her. We placed her in the front yard and used landscape staples to anchor her in place.

When we returned home we placed our ghost in our front yard. She looked great. I especially think seeing the fence through her is a great effect.

This is my other Halloween yard decoration...a pole-dancing skeleton. I couldn't resist. It is lit up at night with a spot light.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

A Little Birthday Lagniappe

My birthday is September 9th...it is now the 13th. The Colonel ordered some gifts for me that are still in route...he ordered them in time but you know how the postal service can be.

One of the belated gifts arrived today (one more to come). As The Colonel pulled the package out of the mailbox and handed it to me I could tell it was a book.

"I hope you like it."

"Of course I will like it."

I didn't like it...I LOVED it!

It was a book written by Gene Wilder (June 11, 1933 - August 29, 2016).

My French Whore is Gene Wilder's first novel. It was written in 2007.

I am currently reading another book and this will be the next one I read. I am looking forward to it.

Like many fans of Gene Wilder, I was saddened by his death last month but remembered the films he starred in that made me a fan in the first place.

My favorite of course is Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.

Who can ever forget those big, blue eyes and wild, fly-away hair?

Then there was the "Waco Kid" from Blazing Saddles.

Blazing Saddles was the first R-rated movie I saw. I was in high school and my parents were out of town so my Aunt Mary was taking care of my siblings and I.

"Aunt Mary can I go see a movie with my friend tomorrow evening?"

"Is it a movie that your parents would let you see?"

Knowing full-well that it was an R-rated movie and my parents would not have let me go, I answered...

"Yes, it's a Western."

Another all-time-favorite is Young Frankenstein.

The movie's director, Mel Brooks was a genius! I recently watched Frankenstein (1931) and Bride of Frankenstein (1935) with Yam. What Mel Brooks took away from those movies and then used in his movie was pure, comedic genius. I highly recommend watching both movies and then watching Brooks' movie (or vice versa). I think you will agree with me...Mel Brooks = Genius. 

Back to My French Whore...

The Colonel said he was reading on-line about Gene Wilder's death and came across this book. He knows I am a huge Wilder fan and decided to get me a copy for my birthday.

He finds a lot of  used books on-line and they are often very reasonably priced (even with shipping).

The Colonel handed me the package from the mailbox. I opened it.

"The book seller listed this book as used but never read."

"I love it, thank you!"

"Since it is a used book, I wonder if it was signed by Gene Wilder. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Yes."

"The book seller did not list it as an autographed copy."

I opened the book and turned to the title page and what did I see?

The Colonel and I could not believe it. There was Gene Wilder's autograph on the cream-colored page.

"I don't think the book seller even knew it was signed. I am sure they would have asked a higher price for the book if they had, especially because Gene Wilder is now dead."

"You would think so but I am glad they didn't."

"Me too."

I love the way The Colonel always gets the perfect gift for me...Gene Wilder's autograph is just a little lagniappe (an extra gift) on the side.

Sometimes the universe hands out a lagniappe too. The Colonel and I had lunch at one of our favorite spots. When you pay your bill there is always a big container near the register and it is full of candy. Anyone can grab a piece (only one). I like it when they have Tootsie Pop suckers. The candy The Colonel picked out was none other than Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers.

Note: 9/16/16 - Today my last birthday present from The Colonel arrived. Another example of him always getting me the perfect gift!

Mad Anthony's Fort

The Colonel and I not only stopped by the grave site of "Johnny Appleseed" while in Fort Wayne, Indiana, we also visited the fort of "Mad Anthony" Wayne.

Anthony Wayne (1745-1796) was a United States Army officer, statesman, and member of the United States House of Representatives. He began a military career at the outset of the American Revolutionary War, where his military exploits and fiery personality quickly earned him a promotion to brigadier general and the nickname "Mad Anthony". He later served as General in Chief of the Army and commanded the Legion of the United States.

Fort Wayne was the successor of several previous military outposts at this location. Jean Baptiste Bissot, Sieur de Vincennes built the first fortified trading post on this site in 1704 called Fort Miami.

The French came to the area known as Fort Wayne in the 1680's. Fort Miami was occupied until 1760 when it was surrendered to the British after the French and Indian War.

Fort Wayne was established by Captain Jean Francois Hamtramck under the orders from General Anthony Wayne as part of the campaign against the Indians of the area. The fort was named after General Wayne, who was victorious at the Battle of Fallen Timbers. Wayne may not have chosen the name himself, as the fort was dedicated the day after he left it.

The fort was officially occupied by the army on October 21, 1794. It is a basic stockade with few buildings.

Wayne's army (normally consisted of about 100 men and their families) arrived in the area on September 17, 1794 and Wayne selected the site for the new fort. He wanted a strong fort built, capable of withstanding not only an Indian uprising, but also a possible attack by the British from Fort Detroit. The fort was finished in one month and was capable of withstanding 24-pound cannons. It was placed under the command of Major Hamtramck who had been commander of Fort Knox in Vincennes. The fort was officially dedicated on October 22, 1794 and is considered the founding of the modern city of Fort Wayne.

In 1798, Colonel Thomas Hunt took command of the fort. He had a new fort built several hundred yards north of the original. The first fort was demolished about 1800.

During the War of 1812, Fort Dearborn (in present Chicago) was evacuated and its residents tried to reach Fort Wayne, but were massacred by Indians before they arrived. Fort Wayne was next besieged by the Indian forces of Tecumseh. General William Henry Harrison (who later became the 9th president) arrived on September 12th and broke the siege.

After the war, a town began growing around Fort Wayne. A third fort was built in 1816. The fort was officially abandoned on April 19, 1819, and its contents shipped to Fort Detroit.

In 1796, "Mad Anthony" Wayne died of complications from gout. He was buried at what is now Erie, Pennsylvania. In 1809, his body was disinterred and boiled to remove any remaining flesh. As many bones as possible were placed in two saddle bags and relocated by Wayne's son, Isaac, to the family plot in Radnor, Pennsylvania.

Legend says that many bones were lost along the way which now encompasses much of modern U.S. Route 322 and every January 1st ("Mad Anthony's birthday), Wayne's ghost wanders the highway searching for his lost bones.